This week I received a rather weird question in my email; “when should I move in with boyfriend?”
I call it weird since this is not my area of specialization. When it comes to forex trading and personal finance, that I am well-versed. However, I am not an expert when it comes to relationships.
As a result, it would be difficult for me to advise on when to move in with your boyfriend.
But the question got me thinking maybe this is something I can touch on. Just because I can’t tell when should you move in with your boyfriend, it does not mean that I cannot inform you of one or two things about moving in with your boyfriend.
I will only focus on the benefits that come when you move in with boyfriend. It will be upon you to decide on “should I move in with my boyfriend?”
The decision to move in with your boyfriend has its benefits, as discussed in this post.
Benefits of Moving in with Your Boyfriend
Moving in with your boyfriend makes it easy to share a room with your partner. I don’t think you would want to share a one-bedroom or a studio apartment with just a roommate.
Well, you basically can, but I doubt you want to put up with the sleep farts of someone you’re not boning on the regular.
When you put together your earning capabilities with your boyfriend, you may easily manage to afford a bigger room.
With the economic stretch being tough on many, it is enough reason to get into this relationship trend.
Read: 10 Ways of Being Fiscally Responsible
The Social Stigma is now Fading Away
Some time back, moving in with your boyfriend without the act of marriage was cause for disgrace in society.
You probably still have grandparents and maybe great-grandparents who will harshly judge if you move in with boyfriend without being officially married.
However, this aspect has changed a lot today, and you do not have to cope with the shame and stigma that used to be experienced in the past.
It feels Safer when You Move in with Boyfriend
You no longer feel as though a ghost has come to grab you for his bride each moment the wind blows through the curtain.
You rest assured that your guy’s Krav Maga skills will come in handy if anyone dares break into the house.
Whether or not any of your fears are true, it’s quite comforting knowing you have a backup in case the portal to hell opens up in your toilet(this is something that my wife used to think about before we moved in together). Haha….. I still laugh about it even today.
When you live together with your boyfriend, you freely have sex all the time, and this is the truth.
On a lighter note, you don’t really have to indulge in sex each night if you don’t feel like it, because your partner will still be in your bed tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
Is this a good reason to move in with boyfriend? That is up to you to decide.
You Get to Share Responsibilities
Maybe you do not like washing dishes and scrubbing the bath tab maybe grosses him out. He could find it easier to do the dishes as you scrub the bath tab.
That shared responsibility that spares you from an activity you cannot stand might be a factor in deciding when to move in with your boyfriend.
Just remember that the little things in a relationship matter the most. I can tell you this from experience.
You Grow Together
When you are together, you challenge each other to grow. He could literally drag you out of bed, so you walk-jog your lazy ass (pardon my language) into a couch-to-5K. You’ll also lovingly push him into completing those chores or activities that he doesn’t enjoy.
We all need mentors and motivators in life, and when that person actually lives with you, it’s close to impossible not to achieve your goal.
You Get to Know the Other Person
There are things you discover about your boyfriend, that may not have come out before.
Maybe you were not aware that your boyfriend could sing. He may also not know that you like working out or some stuff of sort.
You get to know each other in a deeper way than anyone else ever has, and this is a wonderful thing, especially if the relationship is for keeps.
It Provides Some Sense of What it’s Like to Live Together
There has been evidence and reports initially that couples who lived together before marriage were more likely to divorce than those who didn’t.
According to recent research, this is no longer true.
In as much as living together won’t ruin your chances of having a successful marriage, it doesn’t help much either.
Living together doesn’t have much predictive effect on whether or not your marriage will last.
This is because living together does provide the feeling and experience of what it would be like to live every day with a person, but it does not prepare you for the exact marriage-related expectations that many in that situation have.
Living together helps you to access behavioral patterns in your partner while being married brings out a completely different set of behaviors and expectations.
Simply, when you move in with your boyfriend, it can’t be considered as a dress rehearsal for marriage.
It provides you with a sense of what it might be like.
Also read: How Much to Spend on Engagement Ring
Young Adults are Taking Longer to be Financially Independent
In current times, many young adults still live with their parents, and even those that live on their own are still financially dependent on their parents or guardians.
Tough economic times and the job market may be a cause for this.
Therefore, most young people are less likely to engage in lifetime commitments such as marriage until they are fairly certain about their financial stability.
Moving in with boyfriend, therefore, offers a good alternative.
People are Living Longer
The average lifespan of a human being continues to increase gradually.
This means that when you commit yourself to someone when you’re 25 years old, you are most probably committing yourself to at least 50-years of marriage if you are to stick together.
Are you certain you want to commit to that one person for the next 50 or more years?
When you move in with boyfriend before commitment, you get a better idea of what your significant other is really like.
Questions to Answer Before You Move in With Boyfriend
- Who will take the responsibility for paying the bills and handling finances?
- Will you maintain a joint account, or will the bills come out of your accounts distinctly?
- Should your partner be expected to help support moving costs in case of a break-up?
- Who ends up with the living space in case of a break-up?
- Will you cost-share rent and other utilities 50/50?
- Do you have a separate emergency fund account in case you need to move out?
- What is your agreed timeline for future events such as marriage, having children, and having your own home?
- Are you both going to equally contribute to expenses like furniture, home repairs, and other services?
- Have you discussed the future enough that you feel comfortable moving forward?
- How long do you intend to stay in your first shared home, and where will you later move to?
- For your marriage, will you need a prenup agreement?
- Will the way you manage your finances change if and when you get married?
I have just put up some of the benefits that come with moving in with your boyfriend. They are just meant to guide you on deciding whether moving in is worth it or not.
It is upon you to decide on when to move in with boyfriend. I don’t think someone should be giving you a timeline on when to do so.